20 meals for picky eaters the whole family will eat

The meals that work for picky eaters are not special kids' meals. They are ordinary family dinners built so that every part can be served separately, with at least one part the child already eats. Here are twenty of them, grouped by the reason they work.

Every one is a single dinner for the whole table. Nobody cooks a second meal. If that is the habit you are trying to break, how to stop being a short order cook covers the table side of it. This post is the menu.

What a picky eater's dinner has in common

A meal that works for a picky eater usually has four things going for it:

• The parts stay apart. Sauce next to the pasta, not on it. Chicken beside the rice, not stirred through it. A child who refuses a mixed dish will often eat three of its four ingredients when they are served separately.
• There is a safe food. The American Academy of Pediatrics' advice for parents of picky eaters is to serve one meal for the whole family and include at least one food your child likes with each meal. Plain rice, buttered pasta, bread and potatoes are the usual safe foods, and every meal below has one.
• There is something to dip. The AAP notes that kids this age tend to enjoy any food involving a dip.
• The new flavor sits next to a familiar one. The AAP suggests pairing flavors children tend to dislike at first, like bitter, with ones they already like, like salty. Broccoli with grated cheese is its own example.

Those four ideas are the whole trick. The twenty meals are just them, applied.

Five build-your-own dinners

Everything goes on the table in separate bowls and each person builds a plate. She gets control over what touches what, which is often the entire objection.

1. Soft taco night. Mild seasoned beef or turkey mince, soft flour tortillas, grated cheese, mashed avocado and sour cream. Salsa, jalapeños and shredded lettuce for the adults. She can eat a plain tortilla with cheese and still be at the same dinner.
2. Teriyaki chicken rice bowls. Chicken thighs cooked in a pan and sliced, steamed rice, soft-cooked broccoli and carrot. The teriyaki sauce goes in a jug on the table rather than in the pan.
3. Chicken pitta night. Warm pittas, sliced roast chicken, hummus and a bowl of tzatziki made with grated cucumber stirred into plain yogurt. Olives, pickled onion and chili sauce stay on the adult side.
4. Noodle bar. Plain egg or udon noodles, shredded chicken, strips of thin omelette and soft-cooked vegetables in separate bowls, with warm stock in a jug for anyone who wants soup. Soy sauce, chili oil and lime go on at the table.
5. Pasta with a choice of sauce. One pot of pasta and two sauces, usually a plain tomato and a butter and parmesan. She can have butter tonight and try a spoonful of tomato beside it next week.

Five that start from a safe base

These are built on a food most picky eaters already accept, with the rest of dinner served alongside rather than mixed in.

6. Buttered noodles with roast chicken. Egg noodles tossed in butter and parmesan, with sliced roast chicken and a vegetable on the side. For the adults, the same chicken goes over the noodles with its pan juices and black pepper.
7. Chicken noodle soup, deconstructed. A pot of chicken soup with small pasta. For her, lift the noodles, chicken and carrot out with a slotted spoon onto a plate, with a small cup of the broth to dip bread into.
8. Mild coconut chicken curry with rice on the side. Chicken simmered in coconut milk with a little mild curry powder, served beside the rice rather than on top of it. Chili and fresh coriander go on at the table.
9. Gnocchi with butter and roasted vegetables. Shop-bought gnocchi pan-fried in butter until golden, with roasted squash and zucchini on the side. Pesto for the adult plates.
10. Baked chicken and rice. Chicken thighs roasted on top of rice, stock and onion in one covered dish. The rice comes out soft and savory, and she can eat it on its own if the chicken is a step too far tonight.

Five made for dipping

A dip is the easiest way to put a new food in front of a picky eater, because the dip is the familiar part. In a study of 152 preschoolers offered broccoli at snack time twice a week for seven weeks, children sensitive to bitter tastes ate 80% more broccoli when it came with a dressing than when it was served plain.

11. Oven chicken strips with a yogurt dip. Chicken breast cut into strips, dipped in beaten egg and then breadcrumbs mixed with parmesan, and baked until golden. Plain yogurt with a squeeze of lemon for dipping, hot sauce for the adults.
12. Meatballs with tomato sauce to dip. Small beef or pork meatballs baked on a tray, with the tomato sauce in a bowl beside them rather than over the top. Spaghetti on the side for anyone who wants it.
13. Homemade fish fingers. Skinless, boneless white fish cut into fingers, crumbed the same way as the chicken strips, and baked. Ketchup or a yogurt tartare sauce to dip. Check each piece for bones with your fingers before it goes on her plate.
14. Quesadilla wedges with guacamole. Grated cheese in a flour tortilla, cooked until melted and cut into wedges. Mashed avocado with lime for dipping, salsa for the adults.
15. Roasted vegetable wedges with hummus. Sweet potato, carrot and parsnip cut into wedges and roasted until soft all the way through, next to a bowl of hummus. Serve it beside any of the dinners above, or make it the main event with warm pitta.

Five familiar favorites, made for the whole table

These are the dinners picky eaters already ask for. Cooking them at home as the family meal means she eats the same dinner as everyone else, and you get to change one small thing at a time.

16. Mini meatloaves. Beef mince with grated zucchini, breadcrumbs and egg, baked in a muffin tin for about 20 minutes. Mash and peas on the side.
17. Chicken schnitzel with mash. Chicken breast pounded thin, crumbed and pan-fried, then sliced into strips. A lemon wedge and a green salad for the adults.
18. Baked pasta. Short pasta mixed with tomato sauce and ricotta, topped with mozzarella, and baked until bubbling. Scoop hers from the edge, where there is more pasta and less sauce, if sauce is the sticking point.
19. Sloppy joes. Beef mince simmered with onion and a mild tomato sauce, on soft buns. Serve hers open, with the mince beside the bun, so she can eat each part on its own.
20. Homemade pizza night. Shop-bought pizza dough or flatbreads, tomato sauce, mozzarella, and cooked toppings in small bowls. Everyone makes their own before it goes in the oven.

How to move her one meal at a time

The AAP describes a technique nutritionists call food bridges: once a food is accepted, offer others with a similar color, flavor and texture. Its example goes from pumpkin pie to mashed sweet potato to mashed carrots.

Meals bridge the same way. Change one thing, keep everything else the same.

• Buttered pasta becomes pasta with butter and a spoonful of tomato sauce beside it, then pasta with the tomato stirred in, then the baked pasta above.
• Chicken strips become homemade fish fingers, because the coating and the dip stay the same while only the inside changes.
• Plain quesadillas become quesadillas with a little mashed sweet potato inside, then soft taco night.

Expect it to take time. The AAP says it can take as many as 10 or more tastes before a toddler accepts a food, and a systematic review of ways to increase vegetable eating in two to five year olds found repeated exposure to be a well-supported method. The same review found that seeing other people eat a food appears particularly effective, which is one more reason these are family dinners and not kids' meals. For the full playbook on tasting, see 9 ways to get a toddler to try a new food.

Making them work for the youngest at the table

Nothing here needs a separate recipe for a small child. The adjustments happen at the plate.

• Salt. Stock, soy sauce, teriyaki sauce, cheese and shop-bought sauces all carry salt. Season lightly and add more to adult plates.
• Heat. Chili, hot sauce and strong spices go on at the table, never in the pot.
• Shape. Serve every food in the size and texture she already eats at your table. Take anything off a skewer, grate cheese rather than cubing it, and cook vegetables until soft.

What size and texture suit your own child's age and stage is a question for your pediatrician rather than for a dinner list. If you have an allergy in the house, check the meal before it reaches the shopping list. Egg, dairy, fish, wheat, soy and sesame all appear above, soy in the soy and teriyaki sauces and sesame in the hummus. One dinner the whole family can eat covers splitting a pot before the finishing touches.

Common questions

What if she will not eat any of the twenty?

Serve them anyway, with her safe food on the plate. The AAP puts it plainly: it is the parent's job to provide food and the child's to decide whether to eat it, and pressure can make children dislike foods they might otherwise like. A dinner where she eats only the rice still counts. If she has refused dinner for several nights running, what to do when your toddler refuses dinner covers that pattern.

Should I hide vegetables in these meals?

You can, and it is perfectly good cooking. Grated zucchini in the meatloaf or squash in a sauce is fine. But a vegetable she cannot see is not one she is learning to eat. Serve a visible version of it alongside, even a single piece, so the hidden one is not the only one she meets.

How often can I repeat the same meal?

As often as you like. Picky eaters do better with familiar meals, and a rotation of eight or ten dinners that everyone eats is a success, not a failure of imagination. 20 toddler dinner ideas for a month of weeknights is built around that idea, with a theme for each night.

What about vegetables she refuses outright?

Change the cooking method before you give up on the vegetable. Roasted and boiled versions of the same vegetable taste almost nothing alike. 12 vegetables to try when a toddler won't eat them goes through them one at a time.

When is it more than picky eating?

The AAP calls picky eating a normal developmental stage for toddlers. If you are worried about how much she eats, how she is growing, or a list of accepted foods that keeps shrinking, talk to your pediatrician, who can check that she is getting what she needs.

The one thing to keep

A meal works for a picky eater when its parts can be served apart and one of them is a food she already eats. Build dinner that way, put it on the table for everyone, and change one thing at a time.